2008欧洲杯不吐不快的不快
June 15th, 2008 by 
Eric
欧洲杯踢得如火如荼，给2008的夏日平添了一份激情和看点。如此国际一流的盛大足球赛事，让每一个夏日的午夜都变得让人期待和值得回味。只不过本届杯赛，在欣赏精彩的比赛画面之余，还是有很多的Feeling如鲠在喉，不吐不快。说白了就是中国的足球解说水平，评论水平之低让人难以忍受，再往大里说，就是整个国家的足球欣赏水平停留在很低的层次上，当大量的伪球迷用自己对足球的庸俗理解占据了主流话语权，当那些令人作呕的声音无处不在，充斥了电视转播的伴音，评论，以及绝大部分网页的时候，当你身边装B成性的伪球迷都假模三道在博客上呻吟在意淫的快感中不能自拔热衷于炮制自称X指导评球的时候，那会是怎样一种让人窒息和绝望的感觉。
当你在足球先进国家浸淫多年，已经被强大的世界主流足球文明同化，当你熏陶沐浴在最为优美的英语世界足球解说中欣赏足球多年，到了中国收看中国电视台的足球比赛转播，那会是一种无法忍受的痛苦，就像我正在承受的一样。盛夏将至，阳台外的法国梧桐日渐繁茂，我和主流世界的影像联系自从枝叶蔓延覆盖了东南方向的天空之后就被无情地切断了，Satellite Dish在整个夏天都会像聋子的耳朵一样成为摆设，外加某电视转播公司更换解码系统，原有的合法性未知系统无论如何不能再在这个夏日带给我英文体育台的足球转播。形势所迫为了收看欧洲杯2008的精彩赛事我不得不转换到中国国家电视台的频道。听到那公鸭一般的中国播音员的电视伴音，胃口一下子倒了一大半。数码电视技术发展至今，在技术上过滤电视解说，只收听来自现场的即时音效应该不是难事吧，怎么就没人去做呢？我非常惊讶对于中国的足球解说，中国人居然可以容忍。于我来说，这算是到了中国遭遇的文化冲突之一吧。
在午夜打开电视，足球比赛开始的时候，我会倍加回味那柔和美好亲切的英文足球解说员们。英文足球解说口音各异，不过大多来自英国本土。在解说时发音吐字清晰，足球知识丰富，思维逻辑清楚，立场客观公正，而这众多的条件，中国的足球解说无一人能达到其中任何一条。中国的足球电视人，唯张路一人在各方面勉强合格，如果张指导英语能够达到英文节目主播水平，我相信一样可以做一个合格的足球评论员。其他人等，实在是连滥竽充数都谈不上。就拿本届欧洲杯来说，直播室张指导两边的两位，左边那位獐头鼠目的猥琐眼睛男，让人看了就倒胃口，听说居然算是中国央视首席足球节目主持人，真是难以想象。右边一位南蛮子长相的二逼，一副贱相，不知所云，水平给张路提鞋也不够，其脑容量Size不由得让人生疑。说起南蛮子，让人想起广东人对于足球的糟改，更是气不打一处来。碧咸，朗拿度，有谁知道这是什么人么？看着头就大。阿仙奴？拜托，您那鸟语再怎么发音怪异，这Arsenal也不能说成是阿仙奴吧？
所以每到午夜降临，打开电视，第一件事就是Mute电视音量，听着那愚蠢昏庸的解说，会Ruin一场美好的比赛，谁都不想让那些Asshole在你记忆中留下几片污点吧。因此对于中国的球迷和伪球迷，我觉得是很值得同情的，比如那场著名的意大利对阵澳大利亚的比赛，就不知道给多少中国人留下了难以磨灭的记忆污点，想起那场比赛，对于足球本身的记忆可能还远远不及那段骇人听闻的歇斯底里。所幸我对那场比赛的足球部分还记忆犹新，这都要感谢当天的英文解说员。
还有一直让人大为不解的是，解说水平不论，至少那几个球员的名字您得念囫囵了吧？广东蛮子非要指鹿为马把Beckham说成是碧咸，你也就不强求了，反正丫挺的人话从来就说不囫囵。可是你堂堂的央视足球节目主持人，这队员名字就非要翻译成汉语才能读得出来么？那名字白纸黑字印在每件球衣背后，您就生念不出来？当你听惯了英文解说，对于每一个球员的印象都是那个印在球衣背后的英文名字，却非要听中国的足球解说员硬生生把一个个汉语名字强加给这些队员，那真是难以忍受的折磨。Cristiano Ronaldo的名字虽然谈不上优美，念出来也是朗朗上口，您却非要管人家叫什么小小罗，这不是强加于人么？
无奈中，如此不快不吐不快。今夜的比赛又要开始了，只能继续在静音的不快中欣赏了，不过两害相权取其轻，比起那公鸭嗓子的中国足球解说员来，这还是not too bad。
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А может не так уж он и плох? 
Итак, буквально по всем каналам прокатилось данное известие, как подобает, с наивысшей степенью ПиаРа. Сам президент подержал футболку с логотипчиком, замутили пресс-конференцию, на Первом забабахали концерт, ну и конечно, рекламные ролики о нашей необыкновенной Олимпиаде.
При этом как то на второй план отошла сама картинка, что будет красоваться на флагах, шарфиках, и прочей сувенирной продукции через 4 года. А хотелось бы остановиться на ней поподробнее. Если честно, когда увидел, был мягко говоря разочарован. Сразу всплыла в голове такая картина: сидят значит наши организаторы Олимпиады, и тут один вскакивает с дивана и кричит “мужыки, нам ведь завтра эмблему в Олимпийский коммитет надо отсылать”. Начинается суета, но не долго думая наши функционеры садятся за ближайший комп, набирают незамысловатым шрифтом фразу Sochi2014 (конечно же по английски) добавляют затёртое .RU А чтобы не заморачиваться с графикой, в Гугле находят олимпийские кольца и впихивают их рядом с этой надписью в фотошопе
Ребят, просто нет слов! Всё могу понять: кольца, название города, год проведения, но где тут фишка??? та, чтобы цепляла. Где нестандартные дизайнерские решения? Посмотрите на логотип той же зимней олимпиады в Турине, где изображен силуэт “Моле-Антонеллины”, который нельзя перепутать ни с чем. Он плавно переходит в изображение горы, окруженной кристалликами льда, на которой снег сливается с небом. Кристаллики переплетаются между собой, образовывая сеть: сеть новых технологий и вечного Олимпийского единства.
Я вот совсем не понимаю, на кой нам нужно это .RU Посещаемость сайта решили повысить? так я думаю он и без эмблемы имел бы посетителей. К тому же официальный сайт олимпиады будет на английском и явно не в зоне RU. Да и вообще на фоне продвижения государством доменной зоны RF, как то уже начинаешь привыкать к мысли что зона RU вскоре станет “устаревшей” чтоли, а то и вообще сгинет как пережиток прошлого..
ЗЫ То ли ещё будет, весной талисман нужно миру показывать..
ЗЗЫ Простите за эмоции, высказался, успокоился..
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А вот знаете что z подумала.
Десять дней на Новогодние каникулы - это очень много. Сначала как все обрадовалась, что одыхать так много будем. А вот как вспомнила прошлогодний опыт, и позапрошлый. Так что-то передумала. На самом деле, ни денег, ни здоровья не хватит. Опять головная боль, опять лишние калории, и опять весь год хождения в спортзал насмарку.
Ну что хихикайте? я не права??
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Хорошо наверное тем, кто не пользуется электронной валютой, а по старинке - банковскими операциями, платёжками по факсу и тд)))
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Недавно задумалась над такой ситуацией: а что если бы во всём мире пропал интернет. Я конечно понимаю, что интеренет сам по себе взять и испариться не может, но всё-таки, если опустить все технические нюансы, и вообразить что такое возможно… Теперь не почитать новости, блоги, не найти нужную информацию в Яндексе, а самое страшное не выйти ни в ICQ, ни в контакт!
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А как вы, легко бы смогли перенести такую утрату?
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